Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's always time for handjobs
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
