Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
