New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
