so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
