So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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