P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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