Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
In America we eat man semen.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
