In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
