Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
