If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
