I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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