Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I did not marry a roomba.
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