it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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