she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
