Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
