Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
