some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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