Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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