Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
