you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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