I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
