No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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