i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
