you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
