The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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