I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
