Umm I'm too high to move.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
