I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
