so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
