Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
