I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
