One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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