I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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