woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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