if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
