dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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