I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
