I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
