i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
