Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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