Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
