Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
