if i died would you start the facebook group?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
