i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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