hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
