it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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