oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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