Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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