Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
