belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
