Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
