Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
