Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I supernannyed him into submission
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
