oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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