We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
