She's the barista slut.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
